Friday, June 27, 2014
Sometimes, a mission can be discouraging. I think the last couple weeks, I have felt really down and emotionally exhausted. I guess that’s the best way to describe it. We meet people who are only here to argue with us, our progressing investigators suddenly drop us, and when you’re in an all girls mission, it’s easy to compare yourself to others. I just had my first transfer conference since coming back from outbound and I forgot how easy it is to feel inadequate and think how much better another sister is than you. I constantly want to be better at everything I do as a missionary, but sometimes I feel like it’s never enough. But I know that this is not something I should focus on. I need to just trust in Heavenly Father’s timing and plan and continue to work my hardest. I don’t know what Heavenly Father has in store for me and I need to just exercise my faith in Him. Before I came back here, my outbound mission president invited me to read my patriarchal blessing and make a list of things that “I Am,” “I Will” and “I Won’t” from reading it. I’m still in the process of doing that, but I think it has really helped me learn to understand who I am, a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. I think at times, I question whether or not He really does love me or if He is aware of me. But I need to remember that all trials are for my benefit and for my learning. They are to make me stronger and to help my strengthen my testimony.
We had our transfer conference this past week and nothing has changed. I am still with Sister Hadzik and we do not have any new assignments. Here’s a crazy thing though – my trainer, Sister Cheng, and my MTC companion, Sister Sherratt are COMPANIONS. I never thought this would happen! This is also Sister Cheng’s last transfer. She is going home one transfer early to take care of her visa and to finish up her last semester at BYU Hawaii. I can’t believe my mom is leaving already! The time has gone by way too fast. I don’t even want to think about the end of this transfer yet. Every time I remember that she is leaving soon, I just wonder how in the world I will survive without her! She is constantly looking out for me and she is so inspired. She always says exactly what I need to hear at the time! I am just so grateful for some of the wonderful companions that I’ve had so far. Check out what my last outbound companion, Sister Wade, wrote me this last week. She knows exactly what I needed to hear! It was what I needed for that extra boost of encouragement.
“[Joseph Smith] faced a TON of persecution, like ultimate persecution and it made him who he was. It made his testimony so much stronger with every time that it was put to the test and I know that that is how it is for you! Just imagine ever single time you face [someone] you are getting to show the Lord exactly how much the gospel and His Atonement mean to you, not just by taking it, but just like the Prophet, giving Christlike patience and love in return. Sister Ying you are literally one of the TOUGHEST people that I know! You are there because God knows you can handle it. He knows that no matter how many [people] you face that you will stay true to Him, and it will not shake your faith or your love for the work. He gives his toughest battles to his toughest warriors. And you, Sister Ying, are one of the those valiant daughters that He knows that He can trust to take this on.”
Isn’t she so great?! I was so lucky to spend 5 weeks with her. Anyways, my time is up and I must go. But I love and miss you all!
Sister Olivia Ying
2014年 6月 27日，星期五